Am I allowed to be pissed? Mom came home from eating at Miriam's (I didn't know she'd come home early from playing cards) and then started commenting about the state of my office, which can only mean that Miriam was commenting about the state of my office.
I came home early because I wanted to say kaddish for my father tonight, but apparently I'd gotten the minyan time wrong; so most were gone before I got there. And I was late because my client was late, and didn't want to call the same driver to take her home; so I offered. It wasn't far, but it made me fivi minutes late for what I'd thought was the time, which was fifteen minutes after the time called.
And I left before Miriam; so she could have said something to mom, but she didn't. So I was here alone flipping through the channels and eating chips and salsa.
And I'm tired, and I don't even know if I'm covering my bills. And I really don't need shit from Miriam, or Mom, who's not even there, or Maria, who Mom thinks must have said something to Miriam for her to say something to me, as there was some half formed thought about my not living up to my professional duties, obviously because I hadn't thrown out the sardine can from the sardines I'd eaten in the middle of two zoom calls, an all day continuing education course, a conversation with one of my tenants, and some work on my local site, which was during one of my calls, and a few calls to Israel about selling the building.
And I don't feel like I'm keeping up, and mom is away next week anyway, so I think I'll just come home Tuesday for a shower and then Friday for Shabbat, and everyone can just go and play with himself, and I don't care.
And Trump is depressing. He alleges shenanigans and that he actually won, and he might be right, but his way of accusal and blamesmanship is just not useful.
And Biden is proof that you can be an idiot and still make it to the top.
And people are crying about this momentous moment in history, and the truth is it's a blip. I can tell you pretty much how the next few years will be: a lot like the last few. And that's my analysis, which I can thank Jim Rohn for.
And I'm wondering what I'm doing here. Mom gets annoyed if I eat too much of this, or not that, and she buys in quantities I don't need, and that's also making me nuts.
And I kind of get that no one but Ilan is going to read this anyway. To you I say thank you, and I'm sorry I am not there with you. I've a mind to not change my Thanksgiving ticket and just abandon all this shit.
But I can take it another way as well.
Good night, my loves. That's all I've left to say.
I can tell you that mother reads these, at least sometimes.
But you don’t have to be frustrated or sad, you may be as humans emotions happen, and things change, and we grow.
But you are making something there, and we can see that. And my brothers have their own lives, and they don’t feel a need to share (well, except for Yakov but you know what he’s sharing.)
And it’s nice that you share, and I wish you the best of success.
Have a growthful week
You’re so sweet.
I’m okay mostly. Mom is gone this week; so I’ve eaten two cans of sardines and ten eggs in the last day and a half.
I will lose weight (just keep me away from the ice cream section, or remind me I don’t drink my calories, and ice cream is drinking).