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It's late, but I'm somehow wired. Maybe it's all the coffee I drink. Maybe it's because I have doubt. But I think it might be because I tell myself stories.

Today's stupid story: I was on Craigs List this morning… I know the story should stop there: “Why was I on Craigs List?” should have been the programmed question, and I should have answered that with “No reason. Do something else!” and I should have listened to myself.

But I didn't. I said something to the effect of this is my guilty little pleasure and I'm just looking around. And I ended on the motorcycle page. And there was a guy selling five motorcycles and some big ass tool that I don't need, but is cool when you have to replace a wheel bearing, or some other pressure fit item. And one of the bikes was a 70s Honda CB360, and he only wanted $900, and it was in Queens, and instead of just saying “No. This is not in alignment with my current path,” I said “I have no place, and mom would kill me (which I know she never would), and any one of those bikes is worth more than $900 individually… probably.”

Then I went to Fairway, and spent more than $450 on alcohol, coffee, soap and hair care products, and a few other items (Fairway is going out of business). And I can't say the thought didn't cross my mind that I'd just spent half of what the motorcycles would have cost me.

And then I wondered what it was that had me so damned interested in them. Well, it was more like why do things like that so draw my attention. And I really did have a good day yesterday. I was busy with the right things, and then I pushed my way through a real estate contract: I adapted the form to my styles. I downloaded clean copies of various disclosures attached. I did an artful job with the addenda. I spent like three hours with it, and it felt good.

I really got into the standard form here. I got comfortable with it, and with a bit of the process, and it was good. I walked away from yesterday having felt I'd spent it well. Perhaps I'd obsessed a little, but that was okay.

So I got stuck in “What's wrong with me that I want those other things? I can't even attend to what I have.” And it comes up when I go down to the basement, and have visions for what to do regarding the physical plant, and painting and gardening and removing shrubberies. And I could do that all day too. It's probably less exhausting sometimes.

And I even got the phone working yesterday, for me. It wasn't magic, but I have the manual here so I can go there (making magic that is). And that was frustrating, and then great too. I am a stubborn ass when I want to do something, and I got it, not ideal, or perfect, but there's a phone on my desk that I didn't have to call a telephone system service company to come out and do what I did, or something that would have had the same effect, maybe a little better, but so what.

And then I ask if I'm in the right line of work. Maybe I should just manage stuff. And as I write that, I think, maybe I should just manage attorneys, and let them and paralegals and assistants do the work. It was Carnegie who said he'd rather take a tiny portion of a whole bunch of other people's labors than try to earn for himself. And he's right, one percent of a thousand men's work is 10 times what one could produce on his own. And we add a lot more value in what we do as lawyers.

So I did get in here, and talk to Patricia, and get on a call with some other lawyers,n and then seemed to piss away most of the afternoon, and evening.

And getting to write about it and hash it out in my mind makes it alright, I guess. I still pine for the motorcycles. I wondered too if I pissed away the day just to prove to myself and could have just gone and got the damned bikes, and then got on with my day.

So I guess the big take-away is don't go there unless you need something there, or go to browse, but that's because you like window shopping. Obviously this last strategy is not a good one for me, because here I am, not celebrating that some unknown person is probably set up to have all the fun I never would have got around to anyway. But I'm not so sure on the bike. I've built one before. I could have again, and that CB360 was in operational order, and I loved it, and I could have just peeled it out and sold the rest for $900 or more. And there again, I've demonstrated that I shouldn't go there. And maybe it was really $9000 and he mistyped. But why am I wasting the energy.

Especially when I have other things to do, like write my thoughts about the world. Connecticut's whining Democrat attorney general wants to go after the power companies because it took them so long to fix the power.

Governor Cuomo says that “He,” the state gives permission for restaurateurs to conduct their business. And I think he has it backwards. It's our right to conduct our business, and the state's job is to make sure we do that in such a manner that it doesn't infringe on other rights. And that's fundamental.

This morning I had a thought while I was on a call. It was that what we have right now, if a crisis, is a only a failing of gratitude.

The world is friggin' awesome, so awesome I get caught in the problem of having a million things I could do, and having to choose a small subset. That's a pretty damned high-class problem.

And it's the same for most people, especially those privileged enough to go out and protest, and then come back to a comfortable home, only to go out and rabble rouse the next day as well.

And that's my thought for today. Well one more. After wasting my afterevenight, I took one of the files off the table in my room here and pushed it forward, and sorted through a few more. The thing was those things didn't take me so long. If I'd made my Craigslisting the prize for getting stuff done, I might get more done, and then have the money to buy the toys I want, and the place for them.

And if I don't get to the prize because I get engrossed in taking care of stuff, that's a prize in itself.

And I still need my Manu to give me an update. And I'm so tickled that Lani reads this and responds. And that's my world for the moment. I have to go back to mom's (my prayer stuff is there). I need a bed here at the office. Soon, very soon. I'm enjoying myself now, and would be tickled to just be able to brush my teeth and throw myself on my sleepy thing.

So that's it. Good nighning.

Hey there kids.

I'm feeling guilty because I haven't been in touch. I was actually just about to turn in. I had a busy day. I got home, ate, was wired, but didn't really want to write so I sat down in front of TV like stuff and blew an hour.

And then I wanted to sleep, but then I said I really should write; so here I am.

What made it good is that I got to be of service. It's real estate work, but the market is apparently hot, but my guys aren't from the hot end. One is 78 or 79, and has four buildings to sell. Someone offered him cash, but we're afraid they might be playing him. I got some good time in with the Greater Bridgeport Bar Association's contract, and with a bunch of the disclosures around it, and spent a lot of time.

But I know more, and that's good. And for about a minute I could taste the retainer on that one, but right now it's up in the air.

I also got myself a phone that works. We're moving in the right direction.

I'm going to sleep now.

So it's been an interesting weekend.

Without going into names because this is publick, I will share what I got. First, I seem to have got fat, seven pounds even with the six-seven miles that I walked. I suppose alcohol is highly caloric, and I always find that I seem to hold on to weight when I eat bread, and I ate quite a bit of that, and quite a bit of candy and junk food as well.

But that's beside the point. This is the point: surround yourself with the right kind of people. I was invited by my friend P to a meal and to the post meal gathering of a mutual friend, R. Also at the meal were T and Z (all names changed because why not). Among these were a basement dwelling brother and a particular tenns “pro.”

The thing I noted is that none of them seemed to be going anywhere. At least P has kids so he has a future orientation that builds toward something. The basement dweller has a dog, which may or may not be substituting for more intimate human connection.

The tennis pro looked at the yard of R and said he'd put in a tennis court so he could give private lessons at home.

Not that there is anything wrong with where any of these people are (for them; for me, or you, I'd think it's a waste of a way when you can do so much more).

And I thought of Jim Rohn's suggestion that you are the average of the people you spend the most time with, and I was clear I did not want to be the average of this collection.

And then I spent lunch the next day with a friend, let's call him K, and I inquired as to what inspires him, and the answer was nothing. And yet he always seems to have something in the works, and he seems to know everyone, but he's not closing, and I thought to myself, "if I were him, I'd want to put myself in a room with closers, because that's what he needs to be doing."

So my point is you should want to be something, whatever your present conception of your best use might be. And then you should make sure that you are constantly in a room of people up to the same thing, or at least often enough that you inspire each other to be that thing which you seek to be.

Hey there kids:

I'm gonna make this quick as I want to get back to Mom's. She doesn't have internet, but might have power back. I wouldn't know because I couldn't reach her.

Anyway, we got the announcement out today that I'm taking over Maria's practice. Miriam helped mailing about 400 letters. What a pain. I'm sure there are services for this. I'm going to find one.

I don't know what to write. I was too busy trying to efficiently stuff envelopes to give it too much thought. Sometimes those kinds of tasks are edifying too.

What I did notice is that I tend to gamify it a little. I look for what i think will be fastest: each fold done separately, how many envelopes can I moisten the gum of at once, how fast can I stamp, like that. Miriam settles on what works for her, and does that. I think I might have been twice as fast as she on some of the tasks.

And yet it was a collossal waste of my time, not that other things aren't, but some are just more fun, like futzing in the basement.

I got my dehumidifier, but it's not installed yet. I know where it will be, but I need some hardware.

But I've also got legal work to do, and it's just moving too damned slow with everything else. And there are too many items that want my attention. The computer system is wrong.

The phone system wants reprogramming: something I am so not interested in hiring an outside person for. It's just one of those RTFM (read the fine manual) type of situations. They are quite simple enough.

Maria doesn't really love tech. I at least am not scared of it.

I've been eating well, and saw a weight under 240 today; so that makes me happy. That will be 15 pounds less before I get home.

And that's what I have to share today.

I send you all my love.

Hey there kiddos:

I'm going to keep it short today because we're running on generator power. We were in the shadow of a hurricane today and a lot of trees came down, and with them a lot of power lines, among them the ones that power your grandmother's house.

Also a number of trees in Bridgeport fell, right across from the office at the entrance to Beardsley park included. The neighbor's tree at the office also lost a few branches.

And Maria was happy she'd cut all her trees, but I still think we ought to have some.

I took a walk yesterday, and saw an ancient tree in the Sycamore family whose seed I decided I should have this fall. I'd also like an apple and some birch trees.

I bought another dehumidifier today. The basement at the office house is mighty wet, and needs some dehumidification. I got a commercial unit, used, for a quarter of the list price, more or less.. Now I need the plumber to come and do some fixing.

And I need to get rid of the personal injury (PI) and worker's comp. I know it was some of Maria's bread and butter, but I'm so not interested.

I think we're going to end at divorce, real estate, estates, and land use. That'll be fun. The rest can go to blazes.

I'm thinking to do a free lemonade stand one Sunday in front of the zoo. I think it'd be great fun, and would reach just the people I want to.

And then I'll do a family planner I can hand out, and I'll get a criminal, a PI and an immigration lawyer to cover the costs by advertising in my guide. It'll be half sized with a glossy cover. And it'll be awesome. People will have it for years, sticky as I like to put it.

Anyway, I'm a bit wasted, but feeling good.

I love you all, and you should write back, or comment at least. I send you all my best.